The most important thing you can do in American politics is appear on TV, anyway, not speak in the chamber (itself TV, but only C-Span, which is hard to watch ’cause it has no commercials). That’s why it was so wonderful, though strange, that I was gonna be on Fox News today.
The Fox brigade wanted to talk about something besides Chris Christie, who they like and hope to protect. So, with all those guys opting out of reelection, they put together a panel of departing reps and new faces to weigh the pluses and minuses of legislating in The Gridlock Age. Then Benghazi reared its Libyan head again and we all got the the shaft so that they could bury Hillary and insulate Christie with the mound of soil displaced in the process.
I wonder how they decided on me. Probably they picked me off a list. No one has before, but I’m a veteran new guy now, so maybe it’s time.
You know, I met Roger Ailes, long before Fox News, when I was just a kid. He even talked about managing me then, said he wasn’t sure if I was a genius or crazy (or something like that), which you could also say about him. I remember lying on my parents’ bed, talking to him on the phone as he breezily recounted how he had once jumped out of a plane and broken pieces of himself during the Nixon campaign, irrespective of the campaign’s need for him and vice versa. I was supposed to like him for that.