Eric Cantor picked up the slack and enthusiastically led partygoers in singing Jewish holiday standards. Cantor knew ALL the words to ALL the songs, even songs I never heard of.

Jesus (so to speak), the guy must have been the pride of the Richmond chapter of B’nai B’rith Youth, ca. 1978. Really saved my bacon (as it were). His Yiddishe singalong (including the likes of Mark Sanford and Pete Sessions. fearful that if they didn’t sing of Maccabees, they’d be shunned by AIPAC) degenerated into a dreidel-based drinking game that left me begging for mercy in the face of the awe-inspiring spinning skills of Keith Ellison.

That the sole Muslim member of Congress bested me at a Chanukah game made me kvell. It also made me miss my speech, not that some dissociative state would have allowed me to witness myself in action, but because I forgot to go.

Nobody noticed. Nobody cared.

Now, it’s the third week of the new year and I’m probably the only member of the House who didn’t speak his entire first year in office.

It wasn’t a whole year, though, so maybe it’s not that embarrassing.


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